I completely forgot about this thing!

 

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If you didn't notice, I subscribe to the site Plinky, which provides blogging prompts, if you will. I haven't done one of their prompts in a while because I've been able to conjure up my own material lately without using them as a kick in the ass...plus some of the prompts lately haven't really inspired me to write either. Today's did, and asks you to write what you would tell your 16 year old self. Unfortunately I can't complete the prompt on my phone (Maybe when I get a sexy Froyo-running Evo in the near future since it supports flash/javascript and all that nonsense...but anyhoo) so I'm going to Mail2Blogger this post, then copy/paste it to Plinky when I get home.

I've always wondered what it would be like to go back to age 16 knowing what I know now, 5 years later at the age of 21.

Some of this pertains to my sophomore year when I turned 16 and some my junior year, until I turned 17 obvs.

Dear Me (Circa 2005)

Peel yourself from MySpace and your music and read this.

1. 5 years from now, Fall Out Boy will be on hiatus. Its not a horrific tragedy. Really.
2. Price Rite is not the worst job in the world. Minus that dick of a manager.
3. That creepy freshman on the bus your junior year? He's gonna become your first boyfriend a week after graduation. He's also going to be a completely socially inept reject who you want to dump every three weeks, and after 5 and a half months of dealing with his stupidity, you will. He'll call you a whore and a slut because you didn't give it up to him...but he'll get the fuck over it eventually after you're out with friends and one of them grabs your phone when he calls and tells him that his face will be ground into the pavement if he calls you again. However, dealing with his shit will make you realize when you're 19 and find the most amazing guy ever...well, he'll find you...that he's your knight in shining armor and you'd do well to hang on to him.
4. That said, you are not a piteous freak, as you like to call yourself on your blog.
5. Don't waste your money on Academy of Driving. They sucked and you won't get your license until you're 18 bee tee dubs.
6. That kid you're pining over in math class? About 4 years from now he's gonna tell you he has feelings for you and its going to be super awkward because you've got a boyfriend who's amazing and you have no intention of leaving. You will end up not talking after becoming decent friends, which sucks. You will be there when he's puking his brains out on his 21st birthday and end up sitting on a gross ass bar bathroom floor with him because nobody else will. You'll also step in his puke and not really care either.
7. You will not be blogging on ebloggy anymore.
8. You will still be in contact with Brian Birdi via Twitter and Badmonkey via Facebook.
9. Going back to #6, based on conversations had with said individual you'd do best to grow a pair and do something about your infatuation.
10. Your dad is full of shit, you won't be going to WestConn because your parents aren't going to give you a dime for college, in fact they're going to up and leave CT for SC in December 2007.
11. You will kick ass on the SAT's even though that means nothing because you won't have enough money to go to college.
12. Your parents aren't the assholes you think they are...even if they are a bit ridiculous.
13. Tonay WHOAmack will still be a relevant part of your life in 2010.
14. Mike Mussina will retire the year before the Yankees win the World Series again.
15. When you're 19 and some kid from Harwinton messages you on Facebook, agree to go out with him sooner than like 2 weeks after initial contact...you will not regret this
16. When you're going to lose your V-Card, don't contemplate it for so long...the guy is not an asshole, trust :)
17. You're not going to miss your plane when you go see your parents in June 2008.
18. Cherish the bullshittery in Bishop's class junior year....senior year it will double in size and you won't be able to get away with shit!
19. The OC will end. You will not feel shattered.
20. You will get a boyfriend in due time.
21. Don't talk to the Incest Whore, she will jepardize one of your best friendships...if you do, it will survive...but it will suck monkey balls in the meantime.
22. Stop embracing your antisocialness so much.
23. That other kid you liked...yeah...he doesn't like you. Get over it.
24. Don't introduce Jess to Will. Your life will have so much less drama.
25. Kayci and Doug will break up for good.
26. Mariza will never get the stick out of her ass.
27. Tell Jamie to go fuck himself when being an asshole to you.
28. You won't go to the senior England, Ireland, and Wales trip: fixate on something else.
29. You won't be shunned by half the people you hang around with now for speaking the truth with Liz.
30. April will stop pining over the good guys, and date a string of douchebags, ending with her being knocked up
31. Prom will still be fun, even though you didn't have a date.
And finally...
32. Whatever seems like a tragedy now, won't be in 5 years

Love,
Yourself (Circa 2010)

The girl on the right in that picture. That's Liz and she's like my non-biological sister. We just get each other, plain and simple.

I can't sleep.

I used to be awake until this hour on a daily basis when I worked at the nursing home. Now with "normal" 8a-430p hours, I'm usually out cold by 1130p at the latest.

Tonight's lack of sleep is fueled by a racing mind and an emo mood. Justin and I kind of "fought", but that's whatever and we're over it now. Part of our discussion was about how he lacks the time to see everyone as sufficiently as he would like, which is understandable. He wants like one night a week where he can go do whatever with his friends. Fine and dandy that's cool. That just makes me depressed though because since that whole April drama, I've come to realize I have 3 friends: Liz, Mandi, and the boy (though obviously he's more than my friend lol) How fucking depressing. I rarely get to see Mandi, I see Liz all the time now but come fall that'll change when she goes back to school (across the state in Storrs)

So after digging myself out of my "you're a fucking loser" high school existance - three years later, I'm back there again. And it sucks.

I can't make friends at work, everyone in my department is 40+, there's nothing I have in common.

The boy is kind of forcing the issue that I hang out with his work friends Heather and Kristin. Considering I've only recently stopped hating them, (Kristin was ok to begin with, Heather I never liked, but after me and Justin's blowout last month I have a newfound respect for her and I can't hate her anymore.) He should let that come in time though and not rush it.

Sobering thought when you realize how few people actually can tolerate you. Needless to say I feel like a useless piece of shit right now.

It feels good to get my feelings off my chest and down on something "tangible", even if it is only my crappy little blog. Maybe now I can go back in the bedroom and go to sleep, I came out to the living room so I wouldn't keep Justin awake with my tossing and turning since he has work in the morning.

If I had unlimited resources, I would create a program in the United States where every high school graduate who passed with at least a B- would be entitled to a 4 year college degree at a public university of their choice, and if the school was not within 20 miles of their home, they would get a housing subsidy as well.

Let's face it, anyone who graduated with less than an 80% cumulative average through high school likely does not give a rat's ass about furthering their education. (I, for unforseen circumstances in 11th grade had a complete douche of a Biology teacher who gave me a D because HE WAS NOT THERE WHEN I HAD ARRANGED TO MAKE UP A TEST I MISSED BECAUSE MY MOTHER WAS IN THE HOSPITAL, and I still graduated 15th out of 200 people, with a 4 year average of over 90%, so it's not that hard to reach the 80% goal if you expend a tiny bit of effort. If you can't be bothered to be better than 80% (a standard used as a passing grade on the state of Connecticut's written exam for driving, as well as occupational certification tests I've taken) then you don't deserve free college.

This policy would help the kids who get the shaft. Not the dirt poor geniuses or the dumbfuck rich kids, it would help the bright low-middle class kids who get fucked on need-based financial aid because their parents make a shade too much money to qualify. (AKA people like myself). I was accepted to several colleges, and also received merit based (meaning academic performance) scholarships. However, that did not amount to enough for me to go to school. Why? Because of the government and their stupid, ridiculous FAFSFA garbage, which based on parental income, quantifies some bullshit "Estimated Family Contribution". However, this figure does not take into account variables that normal people have to deal with:

1. The economy sucks. A shitload of people who don't qualify for need-based aid have parents who are up to their nose in debt...be it credit cards (my parents' downfall) or shitty mortgages, ect. Yes, the government may think the family should be able to pull $8k out of their ass to put toward their child's collegiate education on an annual basis, but real life issues prevent them from magically having eight grand. That, again, was my parents' problem. Not only were they drowning in credit card debt, but my mother was in a car accident. Do you really think she got an instant payout from the insurance company of the asshole that hit her? FUCK NO. They used every goddamn excuse in the book to try to get out of paying her, and finally, three and a half years afterwards, she finally did get a settlement. HOWEVER, in the meantime, our health insurance was refusing to pay the claims because the injuries were incurred in a motor vehicle accident. Therefore, the medical bills were piling up, couple that with lost wages from not being able to work, and my parents were dealing with a financial crisis.

2. Parents may just be assholes. There is no law requiring parents to pay for their kid's college. In addition to my parents' financial issues, they come from the school of, "Once you're 18, you're on your fucking own", so in addition to them not having any money to contribute, they wouldn't have anyway. That is why I think that it's complete horseshit that parental income is considered.

My point is, any kid who did worth a shit in school should be able to go to college, no matter what money their families make.